question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
