It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
