and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
