It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
