so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize