Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Randomize
