But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
