At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
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