worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
