Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
