do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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