Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
