i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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