just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
