Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Come on in and take your pants off
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