i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize