Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
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