woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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