He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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