He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
