I heard we made out
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
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