Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
