it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
