who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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