I bet he comes in French.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
