i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
