Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I pour the whiskey from now on
Randomize
