whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
