My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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