He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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