So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
