All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize