gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize