who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
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