ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
