I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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