what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
