I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize