You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
