I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
So many bounce houses so little time
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
