I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
