just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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