i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
