I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
