I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
