I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Randomize
