I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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