how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Randomize
