no. you can't hotbox the world.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize