she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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