I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
