Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
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