come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
