As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
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