I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
You can't just leave with hair like that
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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