I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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