You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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