We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Randomize
