No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize